In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Why Breaking Relations - Part-2
By Irshad Mahmood – Director, Siraat-al-Mustaqeem Dawah Centre

In Part-2 of Why Breaking Relations, I would like to deal with Brain Washed Religious Extremists who become intolerant and breaking relations with their loved ones. The Quraan teaches us to deal with it and respect all, without any discrimination. Forgiveness is the key to resolve any matters as taught by the Quraan. Due to Disco Culture (caused by Films and Dramas etc.) of Non-Practicing Muslims, True Muslims should not break relations. If one has crookedness in his/her heart, he/she need to be deal accordingly on case by case method, instead of applying for all. Only few individuals need to be send to Correction Centers where applicable and only few need to go through many restrictions, not whole Nation.

Breaking Relations with Liberal and Peaceful Muslims:

Many Extremist Muslims think that by wearing certain types of cloths or dressing up in a special way or men having beard is the key to enter Jannah. Nowhere in the Quraan Allah mentioned that he will be enter into Jannah because of the size of his beard or because of his/her special dress codes, instead Allah told us to follow his commandments completely and as is, otherwise it is like donkey carrying books and he/she don’t know what Allah has commanded in it. Worshiping Allah alone as well as dealing with people justly is one of the key to enter into Jannah, (Ref: Al_Quraan_060:008).

There are many Extremist Muslims who are breaking relations with their loved ones, since others are not following as they do. As per Quraan, where Allah has permitted Muslim Men to marry women of the people of the book, then who are they to break relations with their loved ones (including parent, brothers, sisters, kids, spouses and other relatives). Remember: Allah has told to build and keep relations with your loved ones, (Ref: Al_Quraan_017.023-039).

Many Extremist Muslimah started wearing Hijaab and breaking relations with their loved ones:

One of the reasons for having Hijaab (extra cloth) on women is when they are going out for legal reason in light of the Quraan. In extremely tough Economic situation, it is extremely hard to survive on single earning for many families. Allah has allowed women to work to support their family in exceptional cases under the boundary limit of the Quraan, (Al_Quraan_004:032). Do not falsely accuse/blame on those Pisces & Honorable women who are going out for work to support their families in a legal way, (Al_Quraan_024:004-005, 023).

Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) initially worked as a consultant under Hazrat Khadijah (Radi Allahu Anhu) and later got married with her. It was an example of a Business Women as a Leader of an Organization. So it is ok for women to work or run businesses etc. by observing Quraanic Veil (Hijaab like women do at Hajj), (Al_Quraan_004:032)
. There are excellent examples in the life of Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) as a Global Role Model for the whole World, which starts from the day He (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) born till He (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) passed away, (Ref: Al_Quraan_033.021).

Many people are confused with the meaning of Zina (Rape) and Hijaab (Curtain). Zina (Rape) is a physical act by touching another person (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:002-005), while Hijaab is an act which is without touching another person. If one speaks lewdness/sexy or wearing sexy dress code to attract others (men or women) is forbidden, since it opens the door towards Zina (Rape). One must close his/her door of home as well as heart for that individual person who speaks lewd (sexy voice/tones) or wears sexy dresses/styles. Government must pass a resolution to apply special restrictions on people for safety and security of women and if found guilty of lewdness (sexy voice/tones) or wears sexy dresses/styles put penalty except for their spouses, then send him/her to Correction Center as well.

Yes, it is true that when the WAHEE (revelation) came to put Niqab for wives of Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him), and all including Ayesha (RA) started observing immediately. However, Niqab is not mentioned in the Quraan for any Muslimah/Mominah except wives of Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him). Also staying inside home like manmade house arrest to observe Hijab, unless she is FAHISHA is not mentioned in the Quraan for any Muslimah/Mominah except wives of Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him). In the Quraan Allah is commanding to All, Individuals, Men, Women, Muslim, Muslimah, Momin, Mominah, Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) and wives of Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) etc. We need to understand the context of the Quraan, to whom Allah is addressing to. Where ever Allah is clearly addressing to wives of Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) that you are not like others, does not apply to rest of Muslimah/Muminah, (Ref: Al_Quraan_007:032, 033:032-034).

Religious Talks and Family Talks (under Quraanic Guidance without backbiting or lose talks) are allowed among relatives and close family-friends, since relatives and friends are allowed to sit and eat with you. Make sure you observe Quraanic Hijaab without breaking relations, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:061). Believers, men and women, are Auliyaa (protecting friends) to one of another; since they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, but here at present day of Hijab extremist are not allowing to do Dawah to each other although Allah is commanding to do so of course by observing Quraanic Hijab with clean heart, (Ref: Al_Quraan_009:071).

Mahrams are of two types, permanent and temporary. Permanent Mahrams are those with whom you are never allowed to marry. Temporarily Mahrams are those with whom you cannot marry for specific period of time on case by case method. Remember: No marriage is a marriage if it is for fixed period of time including with captives, rather it is Zina/Rape. One must have to marry a captive, if he wants to have sexual relations with her otherwise it is Zina/Rape. Please read Marriage Counseling for detail.

List of Permanent Mahrams:

Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your maternal aunts and brothers' daughters (niece) and sisters' daughters (niece) and your foster-mothers that have suckled you (regardless of age) and your foster-sisters and mothers of your wives (mother-in-law) and your step-daughters who are in your guardianship, (born) of your wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in to them, there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and the wives of your sons (daughter-in-law) who are of your own loins and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already passed; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful, (Al_Quraan_004.023).

A Man can have total of up to four wives (including captives with whom he had married), if can afford to support those women and all the rest will be Temporarily Mahram, since he is forbidden to have more than four wives:

And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women: two, and three, and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you do not face financial hardship, (Al_Quraan_004.003).

List of Temporary Mahrams:

And all MARRIED women except those whom your right hands possess (war captive women for marriages) Allah's ordinance to you, and lawful for you are (all women) besides those, provided that you seek (them) with your property, taking (them) in marriage NOT committing fornication. Then as to those whom you profit by, give them their dowries as appointed; and there is no blame on you about what you mutually agree after what is appointed; surely Allah is Knowing, Wise, (Al_Quraan_004.024).

Do not make your own home/street/town/village/city/province/state/country/world Hell, instead work sincerely for building Heavenly Earth. Be part of the solution not the problem.

Tips to bringing Peace among Loved Ones:

We are all human and we do mistakes again and again, which need to be corrected. Someone need to standup and make peace among them, and get great reward from Allah, otherwise Allah may question them on the day of judgment, which will be too late to reconcile, (Ref. Al_Quraan_049:009-012).

It is human nature to burn up on certain, things or words or others attitude/tone towards him/her. Bullying and Yelling hurts, and people may do suicide. Sticks and stones break only skin, while words and actions live in their mind permanently. Bullying may kill people including your loved ones. We must stand up, speak up and make it stop before it gets too late. Those who do Bullying must need to be send to correction center.

We all need to learn how to talk with manners, dignity and respects, regardless of elders/youngers. We need to train ourselves to become a role model in our society. We need to learn Effective Communication (a Two Way Communication) to deal with these matters in the light of the Quraan. Brothers and Sisters must be BEST Friends to each other regardless of Elders or Youngers.

THINK before you speak, since you will be question on the Day of Judgment on each of your actions. Remember, NO action is also an action itself. Each and every letters of THINK itself stands for.
T    = is it really True?
H    = is it Helpful?
I    = is it Inspiring?
N    = is it Necessary?
K    = is it Kind

Use soft tone instead of harsh one, e.g. instead to saying “You never helped me, look you saw and didn’t help me”, or you say like yelling “Hey, Do this” or “Hey, Do that”, or say “Are you blind, deaf or dumb”, just say “can you please help me”. Do consult with your loved ones and be tolerant on collective decisions, if that is not against the Quraan and Authentic Sunnah. Inshaa Allah that will help cooling down all and if others didn’t help just keep calm, be patient and ask Allah to help you. If you get help from your loved ones in your hardships, you must accept that and give reward to him/her if you can afford to do so. You must not forget those who are very close to you like under the candle light there is dark. If for all you are the best example but for your closed loved ones you are terrible then wait, and Allah will tell you on the Day of Judgment or correct yourself before it gets too late. For your closed loved ones you must be the best friend regardless of elder or younger and mind your language before saying, Think before You Ink. You must say “Jazaak Allah Khair (May Allah Reward You for this Help, AMEEN) / Thank You”, after getting help at least. Problems do come in our lives as a test or alarming punishments. If someone is badly sick/disabled or having other hardships, it could be a test for him/her or alarming punishment. While for others who are not in hardship may also having test for this, to check that if they are helping those having hardship as much as they can. If they do help what they can, then they are safe, otherwise they will be questioned on the Day of Judgment. Many times Elders/Rich/Powerful/Educated people create problems due to their PRIDE and thinking that they are BIG, this is Devils (Shaitaanic) work and that may lead them to hardship by Allah. Remember: You cannot change others but you can change yourself, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:034, 003:027, 006:142, 007:012/027, 018:050, 035:006).

Below are translations of few verses from the Quraan to ponder on it:

Say: Come I will recite what your Lord has forbidden to you-- (remember) that you do not associate anything with Him and show kindness to your parents, and do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty-- We provide for you and for them-- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice; this He has enjoined you with that you may understand, (Al_Quraan_006.151).

O you who believe! be maintainers of justice, bearers of witness of Allah's sake, though it may be against your own selves or (your) parents or near relatives; if he be rich or poor, Allah is nearer to them both in compassion; therefore do not follow (your) low desires, lest you deviate; and if you swerve or turn aside, then surely Allah is aware of what you do, (Al_Quraan_004.135).

And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents-- his mother bears him with fainting upon fainting and his weaning takes two years-- saying: Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming, (Al_Quraan_031.014).

Worship none but Allah; treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and practice regular charity. Then did you turn back, except a few among you, and you backslide (even now). And remember we took your covenant (to this effect): Shed no blood amongst you, nor turn out your own people from your homes: and this you solemnly ratified, and to this you can bear witness. After this it is you, the same people, who slay among yourselves, and banish a party of you from their homes; assist (Their enemies) against them, in guilt and rancor; and if they come to you as captives, you ransom them, though it was not lawful for you to banish them. Then is it the only part of the Book that you believe in, and do you reject the rest? But what is the reward for those among you who behave like this but disgrace in this life? - And on the Day of Judgment they shall be consigned to the most grievous penalty. For Allah is not unmindful of what you do, (Al_Quraan_002.083-085).

1>      You will worship none but Him,
2>      And that you will be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." Your Lord knows best what is in your hearts: If you do deeds of righteousness, verily He is Most Forgiving to those who turn to Him again and again (in true penitence).
3>     And give to the relatives their due rights, as (also) to those in want, and to the wayfarer: But squander not (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift. Verily spendthrifts are brothers of the Evil Ones; and the Evil One is to his Lord (himself) ungrateful. And even if you have to turn away from them in pursuit of the Mercy from your Lord, which you dose expect, yet speak to them a word of easy kindness.
4>      Make not your hand tied (like a niggard's) to your neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach, so that you become blameworthy and destitute. Verily your Lord does provide sustenance in abundance for whom He pleases, and He provides in a just measure. For He does know and regard all His servants.
5>      Kill not your children for fear of want: We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is a great sin.
6>      Nor come near to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).
7>    Nor take life - which Allah has made sacred - except for just cause. And if anyone is slain wrongfully, we have given his heir authority (to demand Qisaas or to forgive): but let him nor exceed bounds in the matter of taking life; for he is helped (by the Law).
8>      Come not near to the orphan's property except to improve it, until he attains the age of full strength;
9>      And fulfill (every) Promises, for (every) Promises will be enquired into (on the Day of Judgment).
10>    Give full measure when you measure, and weigh with a balance that is straight: that is the most fitting and the most advantageous in the final determination.
11>    And follow not that of which you have no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of (feeling in) the heart will be enquired into (on the Day of Reckoning).
12>   Nor walk (proudly) on the earth: for you cannot rend the earth asunder, nor reach the mountains in height. Of all such things the evil is hateful in the sight of your Lord. These are among the (precepts of) wisdom, which your Lord has revealed to you.
13>    And do not associate any other god with Allah lest you should be thrown into Hell, blamed, defeated.
(Ref: Al_Quraan_017.023-039)

Today you still might have time to repent, BUT tomorrow it could be too late. Repent now before it gets too late. Not following Allah’s Commandments is Breaking Relation with Allah. It is my humble request to all Masjid organizers to start Quraanic Arabic Language Course in Masjids for free. It will help Ajmi Muslims to understand the Quraan and protect themselves from Great Sins. Be Careful, if you are BIG (Brother/Sister/Rich/Power/Educated).

Read Al-Quraan, the Miracle of Miracles and free from contradictions and errors
Email to to subscribe