Spouse Selection Guide

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Muslim Spouse Selection Guide By Rehan: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?250857-Muslim-Spouse-Selection-Guide

Once there was a very handsome, pious and well educated young man, whose parents emphasized for him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say "she's not the one!" The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing, (which was hard to find). However one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious and practicing.

On that evening, the young man and girl were left to talk and ask each other question (as one would expect). The young man, being a gentleman that, he was allowed, young lady to ask first.

Young girl asked the young man so many questions. She asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his time pass, his experiences, his shoe size and his likes and dislikes. Basically everything!

And the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring and politely with a smile. Young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour and felt bad and asked the young man do you have any questions?

Young man said, yes, only have 3 questions...

Young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, go ahead and shoot.

Young man's first question was,

(1) Who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would ever overcome?

She said! this is an easy question! Answer to your question is my mother.

Young man smiled and asked second question,

(2) You said that you read a lot of Quraan, could you tell me which Surahs you know the meaning of? Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon Inshaa Allah. I have just been a bit busy.

The third question the young man asked, was

(3) I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are lot more prettier than you, why should I marry you? Hearing this, the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury and said I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty and intelligence.

And the young man and his parents were once again, left without an agreement of marriage. This time, the young man's parents were really angry and said what did you do to anger that young girl, the family was so nice and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl? Tell us!

Young man said, firstly I asked her, who do you love the most? She said, her mother. The parents said so, what is wrong with that?

Young man said, "no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah (SWT) and his Messenger more than anyone else in the world." If a woman loves Allah (SWT) and Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me and stay faithful to me, because of that love and fear for Allah (SWT). And we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.

Young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of Holy Quraan, can you tell me the meaning of any Surah? And she said no. because I haven't had time yet. So I remembered the saying of Imam Shafi'i, "All humans are dead except those who have knowledge... And all those who have knowledge are asleep, except those who do good deeds. And those who do good are deceived, except those who are sincere...

And those who are sincere are always in a state of worry (for others)."
She has lived 20 years on this earth and not found any time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights and responsibilities and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman is the Madrasah (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman, who has no time for Allah (SWT), will not have time for her husband.

The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, more prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose her? That is why she stormed off, getting angry.

Young man's parents said that is a horrible thing to say, why would you do such a thing; we are going back there to apologize.

Young man said I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.

Holy Prophet Muhammad said "Do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry" repeatedly when asked how to become pious, because anger is from Satan.

If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she just met, do you think she will be able to control it with her husband?

So, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on: Knowledge not looks, Practice not preaching, Forgiveness not anger, Spiritual love not lust and compromise!

One should look for a person Who has the following things:

(1) Who has love for Allah (SWT) and his Messenger
(2) Who has knowledge of the Deen (religion), and can act upon it
(3) Who can control her anger and another important and crucial factor that she be
(4) Who is willing to compromise

And it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same things.

May Allah (SWT) make every marriage a success and let us create Love for Allah and his Messenger so that Allah (SWT) can bless us, and create love in our lives.

There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. Holy Prophet Muhammad

~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~
Seven days Without GOD
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Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday
Mournday
Tearsday
Wasteday
Thirstday
Fightday
Shatterday

Remember: Seven days Without GOD Makes One Weak.

Additional Tips by Irshad Mahmood - Director, Siraat-al-Mustaqeem Dawah Centre:

In general, if you ask any Muslim regarding Marriage Counseling, they all might laugh and make fun of it. BUT in reality if you do analyze their married life, you will sure come up with the URGENT need for the Marriage Counseling for this Ummah. It is true that life is becoming more and more challenging and most of the people don't know and in reality KIDS are suffering BADLY. Little Kids in the beginning get confused, that who is their Mom or Dad, the one with whom they spend their night time or the other with whom they spend their valuable time during the day. Ideal Never Exists, so please do Compromise and Respect Each Other

Questions On Your Ideal Match!	About Me	Looking in Spouse
Name
Gender
Religion
Sect
If any changes Religion or Sect
Let there be NO compulsion in Religion (Believe) : Truth stands out clear from error(Al-Quraan_002:256)
Marital Status (Never Married / Divorced / Widowed / Married)
Number of Children
Age		Between: and
Height		Between: and
Weight (Lbs / Kg)		Between: and
Color of Eye
Color of Hair
Appearance
Smoking Habit
Any thing which may harm your health is HARAAM (Reference, Al-Quraan_002:195, 004:029)
Educational Degree / Year of Education
Other Educational Degree
Occupation
Other Occupation
Monthly Income
Language (Arabic / English / Urdu / etc.)
Other languages
Citizenship
Country of Residence
Country of Origin
Willing to relocate
Personal Characteristics (Quiet, patient, temperamental, etc., which may change after getting old in future)
Hobbies
Describe, What will be your behavior if any condition is changed in future
Other information