In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Marriage Guide in the Quraan
By Irshad Mahmood – Director, Siraat-al-Mustaqeem Dawah Centre

Reason for presenting this critical/sensitive but important article is to educate Muslim Ummah to protect them from getting dangerous STD diseases because of their wrong actions. Since many un-Islamic ways are widely available due to open media and open society and we need to be very careful and educate our Ummah to protect ourselves from sins before it gets too late.

Generally people complain that in all societies they have attractive Sex Techniques Guides (books/videos etc.) but not in Islaam and not any Muslim Scholars have mentioned in the past. BUT in reality they themselves don’t take guidance from the Quraan by pondering on it and blaming on Scholars looking for Shortcut Islaam. They first need to stop playing blame game. If they don’t understand Arabic, then they must read translation to understand it, so that no one can fool them. Allah doesn’t feel shy on giving an example of an ant, fly or mosquito, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:026). Allah has mentioned all necessary things in the Quraan what a Person, or a Family or a Community or Global World etc. needs for their survival and protection including Sex Techniques, (Ref: Al_Quraan_016:089).

Like foods and drinks, sex is also necessary for a healthy person in a moderate way. If a person over eats/drinks or consumes junk foods, he/she might get dangerous diseases like Hyper Tension, High Blood Pressure, Stroke, Diabetics etc. Similarly if a person does not take care of his/her sexual activities what the Quraan directs them, he/she may get dangerous STD diseases even in wedlock. It has now been observed that among Muslims STD is spreading as well including in Saudi Arabia which you may find in many websites reporting from their health ministries, since many of us not pondering on the verses of the Quraan and applying it on us.

Lewdness/Dazzling/Sexy talking is Forbidden in Islaam:

Allah has very strictly forbidden on talking in lewdness/dazzling/sexy voice or talking non-sense of Sex Techniques etc. other than what Allah has mentioned in the Quraan, (Ref: Al_Quraan_006:151). Keep in mind that even single word SEX has to be used very carefully.

Purpose of Marriage:

Purposes of marriage are to obey Allah, protect themselves from illegal sex, and to have loving family for whole life etc., (Ref: Al_Quraan_005:005, 066:006).

No marriage is a marriage if it is for fixed period of time. Halaalah or Mutaa etc. are forbidden in the Quraan, if their intentions are for temporary marriage, since the Quraan directs for permanent for the whole life.

Quraanic-Fatwa: The Quraan strongly recommends a man to have one wife only to avoid unjust, since unjust leads to the Hell Fire forever, because an Unjust person is not a Muslim, (Ref: Al_Quraan_004:003, 005:044-047).

The Quraan also commands spouses to treat each other nicely with true love and each of them has right on other, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:187, 002:216, 002:228, 004:001, 004:019, 004:034, 009:071, 030:021, 033:035)

Dowry: A Man must pay dowry to his wife happily at the time of wedding, (Ref: Al_Quraan_004:004 / 019-021)

It is advised to pay 3 – 4 months of your income at the time of your wedding for an average earning income man while those who are rich may pay much higher up to one year of income, so that it is not too little that there is no value to afford to live for a person for at least 3-4 months without depending on others. For those who are very poor, may pay dowry to wife whatever they can afford upon mutual understanding. (Concepts of 3-4 months and one year are taken from Al_Quraan_002:228, 002:234, 002:240, 004.025).

Marriage is also compulsory with captive/slave/orphans:

Marriage is also compulsory with captive otherwise it will be considered as rape. This also helps keeping record of children if one gets from this contact and men are fully responsible for raising their kids in true Islaamic Way, as mentioned in the Quraan at several places, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:221, 004:003, 004:024-0025, 004:127, 024:032-033, 005:005, 060:010).

Forbidden to Marry following People:

Do not marry Mushrik (unbelieving) women (idolaters), until they believe. And marry not woman whom your fathers married (mothers/step mothers), except what has already passed; this surely is indecent and hateful, and it is an evil way, (Al_Quraan_004.021-022).

Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your maternal aunts and brothers' daughters (niece) and sisters' daughters (niece) and your foster-mothers that have suckled you (regardless of age) and your foster-sisters and mothers of your wives (mother-in-law) and your step-daughters who are in your guardianship, (born) of your wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in to them, there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and the wives of your sons (daughter-in-law) who are of your own loins and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already passed; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful, (Al_Quraan_004.023).

And all MARRIED women except those whom your right hands possess (war captive women for marriages) Allah's ordinance to you, and lawful for you are (all women) besides those, provided that you seek (them) with your property, taking (them) in marriage NOT committing fornication. Then as to those whom you profit by, give them their dowries as appointed; and there is no blame on you about what you mutually agree after what is appointed; surely Allah is Knowing, Wise, (Al_Quraan_004.024).

Homosexuality (Same Sex) is forbidden in the Quraan:

What! Do you indeed approach men lustfully rather than women? Indeed, you are a people who act ignorantly, (Al_Quraan_027:055).

Lot/Lut said to his people, "You do commit lewdness, such as no one in the world has ever done it before you.  You practice sex with the men, you commit highway robbery, and you allow all kinds of wickedness/vice in your society." The only response from his people was to say, "Bring to us GOD's wrath/retribution, if you are truthful.", (Al_Quraan_029:028-029).

Punishment for Illegal/Un-Permissible Sex out of Wedlock (Rape) in the Quraan:

The punishment for Illegal/Un-Permissible Sex out of Wedlock upon four (4) witnesses is 100 lashes in the Quraan, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:002), also in addition to that if women committing of such crime she must be house arrest till their life, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:016).

The punishment for falsely blaming without providing four (4) eye witnesses for Illegal/Un-Permissible sex is 80 lashes in the Quraan, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:004-005).

If one cannot bring four (4) eye witnesses for Illegal/Un-Permissible sex then he/she must take oath four (4) times only then his/her punishment will be void, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:006-009).

Allah rained down on them a rain (of stones of baked clay) on homosexuals, (Ref: Al_Quran_007:080-084, 011:077-083, 015:056-077, 021:074, 026:160-175, 027:054-058, 029:031-033, 037:133-136, 054:033-039).

Quraanic-Fatwa: And those who guard their private parts. Except in the case of their wives or those whom their right hands possess (War Captive Women for marriages), for these surely are not to be blamed, BUT he who seeks to go beyond this, those are they who are Transgressors (Not a Muslim), (Al_Quraan_070:029-031).

Permissible Sex Techniques for tranquility between spouses:

SEX Education now became very important to discuss here, since even in Muslim Countries, many Muslims are getting sexual diseases like AIDS. Do not visit any Un-Islaamic Web Sites, which talks about sex, and do not watch or listen to any Sexual things. Even many Muslims Web sites may give you wrong information. Only visit authentic Islaamic web sites for this issue.

In Islaam, marriage is a blessed permanent contract between a man and a woman for the whole life, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, cooperation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Quraan has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, mercy, harmony, tranquility, trust, understanding, co-operation, mutual advise, compassion establish a Muslim Family, in the most moving and eloquent terms, (Ref: Al_Quraan_030:021).

Before sex both spouses must recite Bismillah … and after sex they must make Duaa e.g. Rabee Hablee Menassaleheen”. رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ "My Lord, grant me righteous children, (Al_Quraan_037:100). Remember that there is only one place from baby comes out, so clean your mind and refrain from all non-Quraanic version of Sex Techniques to protect you from dangerous STD diseases. Below are few references from the Quraan to understand this concept.

Was he not a drop of sperm emitted? Then did he become A clinging clot; Then did (Allah) make and fashion (him) in due proportion. And of him He made two sexes, male and female, (Al-Quraan_075:037-039).

[We] then formed the drop into a clot and formed the clot into a lump and formed the lump into bones and clothed the bones in flesh; and then brought him into being as another creature. Blessed be Allah, the Best of Creators! (Al_Quraan_023:014).

... He creates you stage by stage in your mothers’ wombs in three fold darkness. That is Allah, your Lord. Sovereignty is His. There is no god but Him. So what has made you deviate, (Al_Quraan_039:006)?

And Allah did create you from dust; then from a sperm-drop; then He made you in pairs. And no female conceives, or lays down (her load), but with His knowledge. Nor is a man long-lived granted length of days, nor is a part cut off from his life, but is in a Decree (ordained). All this is easy to Allah, (Al_Quraan_035:011).

It is the male that determines the sex of the baby (boy or girl), (Ref: Al_Quraan_053:045-046).

Within marriage there is no Illegal/Un-Permissible intercourse (Zina/Rape), since it must be with true love to establish happy family in which children grow under true guidance from the Quraan.

Suggestion for those who cannot afford to marry:

Be patient, keep remembering Allah and try to do more good acts (e.g. fasting etc.) till you can afford to get marry. Try to educate/upgrade yourself to find better job, since now a days even for doing labor jobs, you might need to get training of folk lifting etc., (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:032-033).

Responsibilities on Rich Person and Governments to help those who cannot afford to marry:

It is responsibilities on every Government as well as on those who are Rich to help those who cannot afford to get marry. They must help the needy to educate/upgrade their skills to find better job, since now a days even for doing labor jobs, you might need to get training of folk lifting etc., (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:032-033).

Global Family:

All Women who are not our direct relatives are our cousin sisters in Humanity and all men who are not our direct relatives are cousin brothers in Humanity, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:030-039, 017:070 and many more verses in the Quraan). Also all Muslim women who are not our direct relatives are our sisters in Islaam and all Muslim men who are not our direct relatives are our brothers in Islaam, (Ref: Al_Quraan_003:103, 049:010). I simple terms the Quraan teaches True Love with Humanity. The Quraan also teaches to lover our gaze, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:030-031).

For MEN: Before abusing any of women, just remember, will you approve it, if your mother, daughter, sister or wife/wives are treated same way.

For WOMEN: Before abusing any of men, just remember, will you approve it, if your father, son, brother or husband are treated same way.

Your Children are Your Future:
 
Your Children are Your Future and Your Need. When you will become too old, you will surely need their help in many matters. To get help from them educate them practically if you want better care from them. You cannot educate them unless you show them practically how you care your parents. If one or both of your parents become too old and started forgetting and having difficulties in walking and started wearing pampers etc., that is the sign when you don't move, instead leave them with one of their children (son/daughter) where they will have much better treatment with true love. Keep in touch regularly on daily/weekly/monthly bases and visit them whenever you can. Many internet based tools like skype are there to keep in touch with them.

Be a Role Model for your Child as well as to the society. And make Duaa:

”Rabbe Zidnee Aailmaa”. (O my Lord! Increase me in knowledge), (Ref: Al_Quraan_020.114), AMEEN.


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