In the Name
of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Marriage
Guide in
the
Quraan
By
Irshad Mahmood
– Director, Siraat-al-Mustaqeem Dawah Centre
Reason for presenting
this
critical/sensitive but important article is to educate Muslim Ummah to
protect them from getting dangerous STD diseases because of their wrong
actions. Since many un-Islamic ways are widely available due to open
media and open society and we need to be very careful and educate our
Ummah to protect ourselves from sins before it gets too late.
Generally people
complain that in all
societies they have attractive Sex Techniques Guides (books/videos
etc.) but not in Islaam and not any Muslim Scholars have mentioned in
the past. BUT in reality they themselves don’t take guidance from
the Quraan by pondering on it and blaming on Scholars looking for
Shortcut Islaam. They first need to stop playing blame game. If they
don’t understand Arabic, then they must read translation to
understand it, so that no one can fool them. Allah doesn’t feel
shy on giving an example of an ant, fly or mosquito, (Ref:
Al_Quraan_002:026). Allah has mentioned all necessary things in the
Quraan what a Person, or a Family or a Community or Global World etc.
needs for their survival and protection including Sex Techniques, (Ref:
Al_Quraan_016:089).
Like foods and drinks,
sex is also
necessary for a healthy person in a moderate way. If a person over
eats/drinks or consumes junk foods, he/she might get dangerous diseases
like Hyper Tension, High Blood Pressure, Stroke, Diabetics etc.
Similarly if a person does not take care of his/her sexual activities
what the Quraan directs them, he/she may get dangerous STD diseases
even in wedlock. It has now been observed that among Muslims STD is
spreading as well including in Saudi Arabia which you may find in many
websites reporting from their health ministries, since many of us not
pondering on the verses of the Quraan and applying it on us.
Lewdness/Dazzling/Sexy
talking is Forbidden in Islaam:
Allah has very strictly
forbidden on
talking in lewdness/dazzling/sexy voice or talking non-sense of Sex
Techniques etc. other than what Allah has mentioned in the Quraan,
(Ref:
Al_Quraan_006:151). Keep in mind that even single word SEX has to be
used very carefully.
Purpose
of
Marriage:
Purposes of marriage are
to obey
Allah, protect themselves from illegal sex, and to have loving family
for whole life etc., (Ref: Al_Quraan_005:005, 066:006).
No marriage is a
marriage if it is
for fixed period of time. Halaalah or Mutaa etc. are forbidden in the
Quraan, if their intentions are for temporary marriage, since the
Quraan directs for permanent for the whole life.
Quraanic-Fatwa:
The Quraan strongly recommends a man to have one wife only to avoid
unjust, since unjust leads to the Hell Fire forever, because an Unjust
person is not a Muslim, (Ref: Al_Quraan_004:003, 005:044-047).
The Quraan also commands
spouses to
treat each other nicely with true love and each of them has right on
other, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:187, 002:216, 002:228, 004:001, 004:019,
004:034, 009:071, 030:021, 033:035)
Dowry:
A Man must pay dowry to his wife happily at the time of wedding, (Ref:
Al_Quraan_004:004 / 019-021)
It is advised to pay 3 –
4
months of your income at the time of your wedding for an average
earning income man while those who are rich may pay much higher up to
one year of income, so that it is not too little that there is no value
to afford to live for a person for at least 3-4 months without
depending on others. For those who are very poor, may pay dowry to wife
whatever they can afford upon mutual understanding. (Concepts of 3-4
months and one year are taken from Al_Quraan_002:228, 002:234, 002:240,
004.025).
Marriage
is also
compulsory with captive/slave/orphans:
Marriage is also
compulsory with
captive otherwise it will be considered as rape. This also helps
keeping record of children if one gets from this contact and men are
fully responsible for raising their kids in true Islaamic Way, as
mentioned in the Quraan at several places, (Ref: Al_Quraan_002:221,
004:003, 004:024-0025, 004:127, 024:032-033, 005:005, 060:010).
Forbidden to
Marry
following People:
Do not marry Mushrik
(unbelieving)
women (idolaters), until they believe. And marry not woman whom your
fathers married (mothers/step mothers), except what has already passed;
this surely is indecent and hateful, and it is an evil way,
(Al_Quraan_004.021-022).
Forbidden to you are
your mothers and
your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your
maternal aunts and brothers' daughters (niece) and sisters' daughters
(niece) and your foster-mothers that have suckled you (regardless of
age) and your foster-sisters and mothers of your wives (mother-in-law)
and your step-daughters who are in your guardianship, (born) of your
wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in to them,
there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and the wives of your sons
(daughter-in-law) who are of your own loins and that you should have
two sisters together, except what has already passed; surely Allah is
Forgiving, Merciful, (Al_Quraan_004.023).
And all MARRIED women
except those
whom your right hands possess (war captive women for marriages) Allah's
ordinance to
you, and lawful for you are (all women) besides those, provided that
you seek (them) with your property, taking (them) in marriage NOT
committing fornication. Then as to those whom you profit by, give them
their dowries as appointed; and there is no blame on you about what you
mutually agree after what is appointed; surely Allah is Knowing, Wise,
(Al_Quraan_004.024).
Homosexuality
(Same Sex) is forbidden in the Quraan:
What! Do you indeed
approach men
lustfully rather than women? Indeed, you are a people who act
ignorantly, (Al_Quraan_027:055).
Lot/Lut said to his
people, "You do
commit lewdness, such as no one in the world has ever done it before
you. You practice sex with the men, you commit highway
robbery,
and you allow all kinds of wickedness/vice in your society." The only
response from his people was to say, "Bring to us GOD's
wrath/retribution, if you are truthful.", (Al_Quraan_029:028-029).
Punishment
for
Illegal/Un-Permissible Sex out of Wedlock (Rape) in the Quraan:
The punishment for
Illegal/Un-Permissible Sex out of Wedlock upon four (4) witnesses is
100 lashes
in the Quraan, (Ref:
Al_Quraan_024:002), also in addition to
that if women committing of such crime she must be house arrest till
their life, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:016).
The punishment for
falsely blaming
without providing four (4) eye witnesses for Illegal/Un-Permissible sex
is 80 lashes in the Quraan, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:004-005).
If one cannot bring four
(4) eye
witnesses for Illegal/Un-Permissible sex then he/she must take oath
four (4) times only then his/her punishment will be void, (Ref:
Al_Quraan_024:006-009).
Allah rained down on
them a rain (of
stones of baked clay) on homosexuals, (Ref: Al_Quran_007:080-084,
011:077-083, 015:056-077, 021:074, 026:160-175, 027:054-058,
029:031-033, 037:133-136, 054:033-039).
Quraanic-Fatwa:
And those who guard their private parts. Except in the case of their
wives or those whom their right hands possess (War Captive Women for
marriages), for
these surely are not to be blamed, BUT he who seeks to go beyond this,
those are they who are Transgressors (Not a Muslim),
(Al_Quraan_070:029-031).
Permissible
Sex
Techniques for tranquility between spouses:
SEX Education now became
very
important to discuss here, since even in Muslim Countries, many Muslims
are getting sexual diseases like AIDS. Do not visit any Un-Islaamic Web
Sites, which talks about sex, and do not watch or listen to any Sexual
things. Even many Muslims Web sites may give you wrong information.
Only visit authentic Islaamic web sites for this issue.
In Islaam, marriage is a
blessed
permanent contract between a man and a woman for the whole life, in
which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin
the long journey of life in a spirit of love, cooperation, harmony and
tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds
tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The
Quraan has described this relationship between men and women, which
brings love, mercy, harmony, tranquility, trust, understanding,
co-operation, mutual advise, compassion establish a Muslim Family, in
the most moving and eloquent terms, (Ref: Al_Quraan_030:021).
Before sex both spouses
must recite
Bismillah … and after sex they must make Duaa e.g. Rabee Hablee
Menassaleheen”. رَبِّ
هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ "My Lord, grant
me righteous children, (Al_Quraan_037:100). Remember that there is only
one place from baby comes out, so clean your mind and refrain from all
non-Quraanic version of Sex Techniques to protect you from dangerous
STD diseases. Below are few references from the Quraan to understand
this concept.
Was he not a drop of
sperm emitted?
Then did he become A clinging clot; Then did (Allah) make and fashion
(him) in due proportion. And of him He made two sexes, male and female,
(Al-Quraan_075:037-039).
[We] then formed the
drop into a clot
and formed the clot into a lump and formed the lump into bones and
clothed the bones in flesh; and then brought him into being as another
creature. Blessed be Allah, the Best of Creators! (Al_Quraan_023:014).
... He creates you stage
by stage in
your mothers’ wombs in three fold darkness. That is Allah, your
Lord. Sovereignty is His. There is no god but Him. So what has made you
deviate, (Al_Quraan_039:006)?
And Allah did create you
from dust;
then from a sperm-drop; then He made you in pairs. And no female
conceives, or lays down (her load), but with His knowledge. Nor is a
man long-lived granted length of days, nor is a part cut off from his
life, but is in a Decree (ordained). All this is easy to Allah, (Al_Quraan_035:011).
It is the male that
determines the
sex of the baby (boy or girl), (Ref: Al_Quraan_053:045-046).
Within marriage there is
no
Illegal/Un-Permissible intercourse (Zina/Rape), since it must be with
true love to establish happy family in which children grow under true
guidance from the Quraan.
Suggestion
for
those who cannot afford to marry:
Be patient, keep
remembering Allah
and try to do more good acts (e.g. fasting etc.) till you can afford to
get marry. Try to educate/upgrade yourself to find better job, since
now a days even for doing labor jobs, you might need to get training of
folk lifting etc., (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:032-033).
Responsibilities
on Rich Person and Governments to help those who cannot afford to marry:
It is responsibilities
on every
Government as well as on those who are Rich to help those who cannot
afford to get marry. They must help the needy to educate/upgrade their
skills to find better job, since now a days even for doing labor jobs,
you might need to get training of folk lifting etc., (Ref:
Al_Quraan_024:032-033).
Global
Family:
All Women who are not
our direct
relatives are our cousin sisters in Humanity and all men who are not
our direct relatives are cousin brothers in Humanity, (Ref:
Al_Quraan_002:030-039, 017:070 and many more verses in the Quraan).
Also all Muslim women who are not our direct relatives are our sisters
in Islaam and all Muslim men who are not our direct relatives are our
brothers in Islaam, (Ref: Al_Quraan_003:103, 049:010). I simple terms
the Quraan teaches True Love with Humanity. The Quraan also teaches to
lover our gaze, (Ref: Al_Quraan_024:030-031).
For
MEN:
Before abusing any of women, just remember, will you approve it, if
your mother, daughter, sister or wife/wives are treated same way.
For
WOMEN: Before abusing any of men, just remember, will you
approve it, if your father, son, brother or husband are treated same
way.
Your
Children are
Your Future:
Your Children are Your
Future and
Your Need. When you will become too old, you will surely need their
help in many matters. To get help from them educate them practically if
you want better care from them. You cannot educate them unless you show
them practically how you care your parents. If one or both of your
parents become too old and started forgetting and having difficulties
in walking and started wearing pampers etc., that is the sign when you
don't move, instead leave them with one of their children
(son/daughter) where they will have much better treatment with true
love. Keep in touch regularly on daily/weekly/monthly bases and visit
them whenever you can. Many internet based tools like skype are there
to keep in touch with them.
Be a
Role Model
for your Child as well as to the society. And make Duaa:
”Rabbe Zidnee Aailmaa”. (O my Lord! Increase me in knowledge), (Ref:
Al_Quraan_020.114), AMEEN.
Read
Al-Quraan, the
Miracle of Miracles and free from contradictions and errors